Schrödinger's Nightwish Világos

For several months I have been looking forward to this concert. Nightwish is the number one band, currently reigning on the top of my playlist. The new album took the most-listened-to crown from Therion. After attending this concert, I have seen four of my top five bands live. Needless to say, I was quite excited.

The starter band, Paradise Lost, was very good. I wouldn't hesitate to compare them, quality-wise, to Leaves' Eyes and their foreplaying for Kamelot. It was decent metal with well written songs and a lot of power. Thumbs up, they just made the rather slim list of starter bands I wouldn't hesitate to pay for, should they tour on their own.

Then the real treat of the evening came on the nice stage - I love the pendulum theme, it reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe's Pit and the Pendulum. The intro was okay, but nothing special. The first surprise was Tuomas wearing a thick make-up and eyeliner. He looked like an emo kid, it was sort of pathetic. Jukka was, as usual, wearing a bandana headscarf. Marco looked cool, wearing The Beard. I expected him to be larger, maybe like the Leaves' Eyes growler. But he's just an ordinary guy, maybe a bit smaller than most. And Emppu looks exactly as you imagine him. :-)

Then Anette came on stage. I was disappointed. Unlike the aerie, impressive appearance of Sharon den Adel, she looked like the ugly stepsister. She was wearing a black corset that ended just above her breasts, exposing her skinny upper chest and shoulders. She has a rather nice G-clef (husľový kľúč) tattoo on her left shoulder. Unfortunately, she is very thin, and the corset didn't look good on her, which is saying a lot, because corsets generally look good on anyone. Anyway, Anette is pushing forty, and it could be seen. I have no problem with an older singer, but she was trying to look like a schoolgirl, and didn't quite manage to get it right. The skirt and little-girl hairstyle didn't help much, either.

I could have forgiven her for the appearance easily. That's not why I came to the show, after all. But she couldn't sing well. It was especially painful in the older songs. It happens that singers can't handle the complicated parts sometimes, and come out a bit flat. Anette, however, couldn't handle the more demanding parts of Tarja's songs at all. It was rather sad. The only older song she was doing quite okay in, was Nemo. Other songs... well, whenever I thought she was doing okay in some, she screwed up badly a few measures later. That includes Amaranth, which sounded nothing like I hoped it would sound. :-( The two songs that sounded more or less okay were Sahara, and Seven days to the wolves.

Just a quick note, I wasn't biased against her. I like the new album and had very good will to accept her and appreciate her as a singer. I understand, that she is in a very tough position to appeal to the fans who loved Tarja, and that singing songs that weren't written for her can get very difficult. But this wasn't just below average. It was excruciatingly awful at times.

Worse yet, I couldn't quite appreciate her voice. It sounded different to me, than on Dark Passion Play. And it wasn't pleasant, not even when she was talking, which she did with a thick accent. The overall impression she gave, and that's considering way more than just appearance, was that of a rat. Honestly, if I worked for casting and needed a were-rat, she would be the first one I would talk to. You'll understand what I mean when (and if) you see her live. The event lost an unprecedented amount of goshu points because of her.

As if wanting to suppress her somehow, the sound was set to emphasise the guitars and drums, you couldn't even hear her in some parts. While I have to be mean and say that this wasn't a bad thing altogether, Nightwish music isn't about making so much noise that you can't hear the singer.

Our position was great, we ended up in the third row from the stage right in the center. I have no idea how that happened, because when we arrived, we were like ten rows from the stage at least, but eventually, we somehow got forward without much effort on our part. This doesn't usually happen. :-)

The audience was better than on WT, but still... let me design an IQ test. We start at 150. Imagine following situation: Tuomas is playing a silent solo, Marcus and Emppu have their fingers across their lips, and motion for the crowd to be silent. For every second you keep yelling, you get -10 points. Hm, most people would end up somewhere below 60. Anyway, I had to laugh when, after the encore, a pretty large part of the crowd behind me started shouting "Ještě jeden! Ještě jeden!" :-D

Although several times I just had to smack my forehead after something (read: Anette) went wrong, there were some really bright moments in the show. Namely the Islander, with Marco and Emppu playing acoustics. Also, Jukka was doing awesomely at the drums. I never noticed how good he was in the studio albums, and it rarely happens that I notice drummers at all. But at times, it just struck me how well he played.

Emppu and Tuomas played their parts well, too, although at times you couldn't really hear the keyboards because of the settings mentioned before. Marco was amazing, and although maybe Anette didn't think so, he was the real frontman of the band. Not even his tries could save the show and interacting with the fans, though, because it was still lousy. Some instrumental parts were nice, even though I really missed the strings and brass. A lot of Poet and the Pendulum was just playback, and the difference between playback and live playing and especially singing was very unflattering.

Overall, I give Nightwish 55 goshu points. I can't say if it is a világos. If you are a very forgiving person, mad about the band, and want to see them live at all costs, just do so, and it may be világos for you. The word forgiving being the keyword. I have seen some people around me who obviously enjoyed it. That made me think that it is very individual, and you won't know if it is a világos, until you get in and see for yourself - hence the Schrödinger. Unfortunately, I am a more demanding person, and declare Nightwish a second band, after Kamelot, that screwed up at their live performance.

In a final attempt to redeem the band, it wasn't really all bad. If I look at it the way that I spent fifteen bucks and just went out, it was a nice way to enjoy the evening. However, if I think of this as a concert of my number one band, it is really disappointing. There indeed was a huge gap between live performances of Nightwish and Within Temptation, and as much as it pains me to give my favourite band a negative review, I don't feel like having much of a choice. Bottom line: Anette Olzon doesn't have what it takes, and I don't think the band will be doing well live, unless she is replaced. Feel sorry about that? Well, yeah. So do I.

PS: No pictures today. So what? :-P

It's been two months...

...and I feel that some recapitulation is in order. Over those two months I've written more posts than most of my friends combined, and got feedback from you on most of them. During the first month alone, this blog has received over a thousand hits, and this number will be doubled soon.

This exceeded my wildest expectations. :-) I want to express my utmost gratitude for your interest. If it wasn't for you all, I would have stopped publishing weeks ago. Even though fortunately, unlike in Italy, I don't need a license and a professional journalist supervisor. (And it doesn't stop there.)

Blogger indeed is an interesting status. Aiming right into my own ranks:
They may have a point... ;-) Still, I know only about ten to fifteen people who read regularly and even post comments sometimes, but I have no clue whatsoever who rest of you are. I think the record is 70 unique hits per day... creepy. I am pretty sure that I don't even know seventy people altogether, who would want to read this, let alone on the same day.

So come on, step out of the shadows and poke me, so that I know... And remember, comments are mana. More mana means more fireballs, more posts, and happier me. :-) You must have something to say, or at least so I hope.

Portrait test run

It's been ten days since the last time my dearest readers had a chance to bask in the fresh glow of my amazing posts, and as this weekend is mostly free, save compulsory events such as Nightwish concert, I have decided to spam around a little. ;-)

Precisely two weeks ago, with one of the people I know here, a Tibetan student of international law, we have decided to try and shoot a few outdoor portraits. My longer lens seems to be very nicely up to this job, although I am still a far cry from achieving perfection with it. On the lighter note, I learn something new every time I take it out for a shoot.
The bokeh of this lens is worth dying for. Wonderful, dreamy, unmatched by anything except better prime lenses. (Bokeh is basically what the out-of-focus area looks like, it helps you isolate the subject from the background.)
Even wide open, at impressive f/2.8, the sharpness is quite decent. Along with image stabilisation, it helps to avoid ruined shots in less-than-perfect light on the long end of the lens. Body with this lens is rather heavy, and at 320 mm equiv. focal length it takes some time getting used to, in order to avoid blurring your shots. A tripod would go a long way to help.
Sharpness, exposure, and other setting of the images vary, because I've been experimenting with them on purpose. Which of the photos you think looks the best in technical terms?

While running after Tsatan with the long lens, I managed to pull of a coupe of snapshots that I kinda like. :-)
It is said that the longer the distance from the subject, the more flattering the photo looks. This is especially true for people who are conscious about the size of their noses. ;-)
Before you get to the park, a nice friendly warning like this strikes you. Something tells me that this wouldn't be the right place for our favourite wine-sessions. :-)
I didn't particularly like the weather on that day. The light was too soft, and some of the photos seem to lack on crisp colours. Oh well. There is obviously more to professional portraits than click and shoot. I'm making this a rather important task on my photography to-do list. I might even get a wise book or two on this topic, because this is the kind of photography I am rather fond of.

In case anyone back home is interested, I would be delighted to take them out for a portrait shoot such as this one. It can never hurt to have a few more decent pictures of yourself, without them looking completely unnatural with studio lights and plenty of make-up.

Amerika ist Wunderbar! ;-)

You know you haven't been in the USA long enough, when you...

• still answer, when someone asks "How're you doing?"
  
• can't get used to not knowing how much you are going to pay, "thanks" to all the taxes and fees applied at the counter, or checkout.
• passionately hate being charged for incoming calls and messages on your phone.
  
• frown at wannabe security guards everywhere.
• wonder why you received a platinum card with your bank account, when you didn't ask for one.
• mentally cheer whenever you buy something that would cost you triple the price at home. The import from China to Europe must be dreadfully expensive.
  
• try to figure out where the catch is, if you are allowed to return the goods you purchased in 30 days for money back, no questions asked.

• develop conversations such as "So you are an Italian, right? Hmm, you've never been to Italy and can't speak Italian at all? Oh, I see."
• aren't yet used to how low the taxes are.
  
• inquire how cash-backs work and what they are good for.
• don't really enjoy baseball and American football, and keep correcting people that football isn't what they think it is.
  
• have difficulties understanding why are there people around you in a graduate level class, who can't grasp the stuff you handled in high school.
• are regularly amazed by the quality of customer service.
• consider utterly ridiculous those lawyer ads that tell people to sue, because Maggie from Texas got $25000 when she did.
  
• drink soda with ice, instead of ice with soda.
  

Handheld hunting in the darkness

, (My dearest Obu is advised not to read this one. ;-))

Photography. Greek for the words "light" and "write". Thus, it comes as a little surprise, that it gets rather tough at night, since there generally is so little light to "write". This becomes especially difficult if you do not have a tripod, and have to shoot those atrociously long shutter times hand-held. Still being at the honeymoon stage, I took my Tamron 17-50mm f/2.8 for a walk. It did not particularly surprise me, that the cannon made it possible to shoot decent pictures at night as well.
At 17 mm focal length, it is possible to take a photo at shutter speed of 1/8 sec, and have it come out nice and sharp. Also note, that although this picture is shot at a rather high sensitivity of ISO 800, the noise is very well managed, barely noticeable. When it gets darker, picture with the same settings will have worse noise, especially on the sky. (Note the following photo.) This can be somewhat improved by post-processing.
The Bean. Famous and often visited, it was a real pain to get this shot off without people standing all around the place. :-) Sometimes the picture itself doesn't look blurred, but merely soft. Alas, there is no recipe for sharp pictures with long shutter times, other than tedious trial-and-error, or a tripod. This shot would have been much nicer if it was sharper:
Also, shutter speed often affects how the picture looks in the end. This is especially true if there is something moving in the scene, which is often the case with water. To achieve a pleasant, flowing effect, you have to keep the shutter open for quite some time. The problem occurs when there is a stage such as this, and there is nothing to support your camera against. It took me around fifteen tries to get this photo, and it still isn't quite sharp. Oh well, not even holding your breath can help to keep perfectly still for two seconds.
On the other hand, sometimes you might want to snap the shutter real fast to freeze action. If you do so at night with ordinary settings, all you get is a black picture. The only way to go around this is to open your aperture wide, and boost the sensitivity as much as possible. The trade-off will be unpleasant noise, but sometimes that's better than nothing. I was surprised that it was possible at all to shoot at night at 1/100 sec. The noise in the sky is manageable.
The exposure can be set to abnormal lengths to achieve impressions otherwise impossible. I'm sure everyone has seen those nice urban pictures of car trails. Well, basically all it takes is a good spot and a something convenient to stabilise your camera. I didn't have neither, so mine are kind of lame. However, I will be definitely be exploring this kind of photography further. :)

Who needs a star filter, anyway? :-)

I am quite satisfied with overall low-light performance, although I can't wait to get a tripod, anyway. This is the kind of photography, where the approximately ten times larger sensor of an APS-C DSLR over a compact really shines. Thanks for viewing, and I'll let you off with a few more shots.

The people of Chicago love their young. ;-)
I only wish this one was sharper. :-/

The Holy Godmachine of Neuropsychology

Slashdot presented me with a real treat tonight. Obviously, scientists are able to read MRI of religious people's God proximity encounters, and then replicate them for a different person altogether.

"Scientific American is reporting on scientific work done to map the euphoric religious feelings within the brain. As a result, it's now quite possible to experience 'proximity to God' via a special helmet: 'In a series of studies conducted over the past several decades, Persinger and his team have trained their device on the temporal lobes of hundreds of people. In doing so, the researchers induced in most of them the experience of a sensed presence — a feeling that someone (or a spirit) is in the room when no one, in fact, is — or of a profound state of cosmic bliss that reveals a universal truth. During the three-minute bursts of stimulation, the affected subjects translated this perception of the divine into their own cultural and religious language — terming it God, Buddha, a benevolent presence or the wonder of the universe."

Well, scientists are able to create a deep spiritual experience at a press of a button. I wonder how that makes God feel. Does the machine make him come close to the person personally, or just replicate the effect without involving any actual deities?

Now I definitely need to get one of these godhelmets of my own. If for no other reason, then to find out how spiritual junkies feel. Then I could finally have a god of my own, one who would actually come to me at times.

Or then again, maybe this, just as all other scientific endeavors to undermine the spiritual authority, is just a fake. How? The Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage, of course.

Mister Persinger doesn't hold back, though, and keeps effing the ineffable. From the article:

"Persinger thus argues that religious experience and belief in God are merely the results of electrical anomalies in the human brain. He opines that the religious bents of even the most exalted figures—for instance, Saint Paul, Moses, Muhammad and Buddha—stem from such neural quirks. The popular notion that such experiences are good, argues Persinger in his book Neuropsychological Bases of God Beliefs (Praeger Publishers, 1987), is an outgrowth of psychological conditioning in which religious rituals are paired with enjoyable experiences. Praying before a meal, for example, links prayer with the pleasures of eating. God, he claims, is nothing more mystical than that."

LOL. Makes me think it would be cool to amplify effects of the godmachine, so that it has an area effect. Then, you could just proclaim yourself to be god, and all the poor confused people would believe you, because they would feel it. Awesome. My life finally has a meaning again! :-D

Photographing kids

Yesterday at the ZOO, I was also able to shoot a few children as well. Those little folks make for quite cute pictures, whether it's their playing and action, observing something, or just generally doing whatever they do. Some of these shots are not very sharp, but I like them anyway. Unfortunately, with kids, all you get is snapshots. There is no time to set stuff up properly, and think much about the picture, so luck matters, too. Kids are at their best when they don't know about the observer, and are occupied somehow.



Or these two guys playing wildly at the drinking water fountain:

This type of photos has a wonderful acceptance rate, too. These are five of seven kids photos I shot yesterday, and all are of at least decent quality. This may be luck, but I feel like it's just easier to capture this kind of photos.

Honeymoon with Canon

For the time being, me and my Canon are an inseparable couple. We are fond of each other very much. I go out with her regularly, touch her body everywhere, and by now know fairly well where her controls are. No need to worry, though, I didn't get married. However, after several months of deciding and choosing, I finally ordered a digital SLR camera.
Canon EOS 40D won me in the end. I like the brand, and this camera is advanced enough to satisfy a much more experienced photographer, than myself. Although, on paper, some of its specs pale in comparison to the new Nikon D300 powerhouse, I don't want to wait for four months to get it, and pay half more for features I don't really need. Along with it, I've bought a bunch of accessories and two lenses, a great value standard zoom Tamron 17-50mm f/2.8, a lens with a scary name suffix: Di II LD Aspherical IF SP AF. The other lens I've bought is the ridiculously expensive and in all aspects brilliant Canon EF 70-200mm f/2.8L IS USM. I hope that this one will survive for many, many years to come and serve on several bodies.
The body is large and ergonomic enough to feel comfortable in my not so small, (and reportedly silky smooth, ;-)) hands, although using the rather bulky long lens would be more comfortable with a battery grip attached. Some people say that it's difficult for them to shoot this way for a longer time period, but I have been able to shoot for four hours straight without feeling any strain. Image stabilization handled most of the shakes rather nicely. There are still some holes in this setup, especially macro shooting. Minimum focusing distance of this lens is 1.4 m, which means I can't shoot any more detail than this Grant Park resident:
I am going to try out Canon 500D, which should solve this problem. So far, I was out shooting for several hours and appreciated the sharpness and detail this lens can provide, even wide open at 200 mm. The crop factor of my APS-C sensor is 1.6x, which turns 200 mm into a 320 mm equivalent, long enough to shoot people without being too intrusive.
For wildlife, I would like to have a longer lens, preferably reaching somewhere around 500 mm focal length. Nonetheless, with enough luck, it is possible even to shoot birds with a nice amount of detail. This one was just sitting on the beach, yawning at me. :-)

Or this squirrel, obviously too occupied with its nut to care about a clumsy giant approaching.
Yesterday, for the first time in years, I went to the ZOO. As I've complained before, my dear Canon makes me do things I wouldn't have done before... while I was going there, a pretty nice panorama presented itself, and I didn't hesitate to change the lens for this shot.
Anyway, speaking of squirrels, one of the first I've seen over at the ZOO was incredibly cheeky and daring!
Shooting animals over at the ZOO was a pain. Mostly because they were in cages, or behind glass. Cages are just ugly, and glass was often stained and dirty, as well as difficult to focus through properly. Nonetheless, I was able to shoot a few decent ones. Here's a thought, how about I start collecting photos of animals with their tongues out? :-)



Oh, and I couldn't believe how cutely a polar bear can smile. :-)
I greatly appreciated the maximum aperture of the long zoom. Not only it makes a wonderful creamy bokeh, it is also very handy to "see through," (although more appropriate expression would be see around,) cage bars, in certain circumstances. This cat is in a cage similar to the one with squirrel inside it, above. In this picture, you can see the bars in the foreground merely as very soft blurs.
The flamingos were so glad to see me that they started kissing. :-)

(This one is quite soft, because I had to crop it a lot.)

Just a few more random shots, and I'll stop. Promise. :-) But this lady definitely deserves some attention. Charming, isn't she?

Well, what can I say. The body is quite complex, and some of the shots above could have been better, were I an experienced photographer. But for the first two days out with a SLR, I am satisfied. :-) Hooray! Finally, I can shoot whatever I want, whenever I want!

Evolution of a photographer, pt. 1

(Based on a case study of subject #99212.)

Stage 1:
It all starts with subject's deep, secret desire to freeze the moment and capture the light. Subject is jealously eyeing equipment of randomly encountered specimen who reached stage four or further, and thinking that maybe, one day, he could make it and get a decent camera. More and more frequently the subject visits photography related websites, learns basic stuff, for example how shutter speed and aperture affects the overall feel and style of the resulting image. Every time subject feels like purchasing a camera, it is usually enough to take a look at the price tag and decide that it would be a crime not to spend such a huge heap of gold on beer. Also, he hardly doubts that what you photograph is more important than how you photograph it.

Here is where most people stop. Some will buy a $300 point-and-shoot camera and decide that their needs are satisfied. Why bother with buttons and settings, when the smart device can do it all for me? And why would I lug around 10 kg worth of SLR and lens, anyway, if I can take the picture with my Phanasoonik Nano Tiny Pro™ 12 mpix, with 320x digital zoom? Most digital SLRs don't give me more megapixels anyway.

(Here is where most people end.)

Stage 2:
The subject has realised that there is more to a nice camera than megapixels, and more to a nice photo than shoot-everything-without-thinking. He struggles against confusion by terms such as bokeh, sensitivity, tonal range, white balance, chromatic aberration, vignetting, barrel distortion, noise, exposure metering, histogram, and many more. The difference between a compact point-and-shoot EVF camera and a SLR is no longer so blurred to him, and he knows that first is hardly an option for serious photography. Sites like photo.net or dpreview.com slowly make their way into subject's "often visited" list. He reads photography forums and tutorials silently, and as his knowledge grows, so does his urge to utilise his new findings by taking real pictures.

Still, he thinks that body of the camera is what matters. Lens are just a waste of money to him, and he would only trade his kit lens for ones with bigger zoom. The more 'X' of zoom, the more ganXta. He doesn't have a clue how someone can suffer using prime lenses with no zoom whatsoever. That must be, like, the most ridiculous thing ever.

Stage 3:
The many terms of photography finally start to make sense. When our subject sees a photo posted on the Internet, he tries to guess what settings and what equipment were used to take it. In time, his guesses get more and more educated, and he realises that too much ganXta and good pictures just don't go hand in hand. 18x zoom lens is no longer his wet dream, and he realises that "x of zoom" is just a meaningless value. It's focal length that matters. He now knows that choice of lenses matters even more than choice of the body, and can understand why someone would spend several times more for lenses, than for the camera itself. The subject no longer insists on using the same lens for all purposes, and knows how primes can be much better than zooms sometimes.

Most importantly, he realises that equipment is not what's making the pictures awesome. The photographer is. Lousy pictures can be taken with the most expensive equipment, and breathtaking pictures can come out of a simple camera. Still, good gear makes it all much easier, and bring some previously impossible challenges close enough to reach.

On daily basis, subject is imagining capturing what he sees. He thinks about what settings would he use, which perspective would he choose, and what point would be the best for capturing the scene. Often, he regrets how awesome shots he misses. People who accompany him frequently shake their heads in disbelief of his exclamations, such as "This would make for such a wonderful photo, look at the light! Fantastic!" or "Oh my. Such a pity I don't have a camera on me."

Subject has difficulties communicating with other people about this matter. No one understands his blabbering, and no one seems to care. Subject realises the necessity to communicate with similarly afflicted individuals of third or higher stage. Whenever possible, subjects approaches other specimens, in order to indulge in obsessive conversation that bores the hell out of any directly uninvolved observers.

It is necessary to use a handkerchief when browsing photography equipment, unless keyboard and display in use are droolproof. Subject. Wants. DSLR. Now.

(To be continued...)

Pink think tank

(Sequel to Sinister Pink and Fluffy.)

Although the situation is seemingly calm and peaceful, there is no telling when the pink hell breaks loose. The worldwide surveillance system has been silent over the weekend, but that is not the case right now. We have a tier 2 pink alert in Illinois. Undoubtedly, the reason for targeting this area is directly connected to one of the premier members of WTO, who, rumour has it, is currently undercover in Chicago.

"Last night," he reports, "I went on a little walk to the park. It was a lovely, warm evening, but something was troubling me. Something, I just couldn't point out, at least not at that time. I was outside taking a few photos 0f the skyline, but I didn't feel quite well, so I called it a short night and went to bed. It wasn't until morning that I realised something went very, very awry. The weird feeling in my gut kicked in when I opened this photo."

"Don't see anything wrong? Neither did I, at first. However, the building on the left struck me as most suspicious, and using state-of-the-art WTO technology, I was able to restore great detail of what was really there."
WTO knowledge base: The Smurfit-Stone building often displays various signs to propagate various subjects, mostly sport teams and healthy lifestyle. This building has been suspicious with relation to the Pink Menace. It is considered no coincidence, that the best way to get to this building is using the Pink train line.

It was surely very appealing to evil forces of pink and fluffy to abuse this estate for their vile schemes, this time via subliminal messaging. Note the vaginal shape of the area, neatly combined with a sign proposing the viewer to appreciate pink. Freud himself would be proud.

It got worse than that, however. The information available is sketchy at best, however if any of it is true, we have a situation here. The following is an account of the events by an eye-witness. No modifications have been made, so please try to understand that he might have been a little confused.

Ehm, be 'is thing on, me lad? Aye? Good. Soo... hic! Here I goes with me mateys out at nite, a pint'a Guinness in each fist we have. I winks at 'ose preety lasses in the street, ye would not believe 'ow many 'ere were, oh I swears. Anyhoo, as dark a feelin' as an ocean storm 'bout to strike, suddenly we feel horror like never before. "Tim, ye brainless sod," I says, "what in virgin Mary's name you reckon's goin' on?" He answers me not, fer he's writhein' on the ground. By the gates of Hell 'emselves, Tim neva' gets down, not even if he drinks two barrels'o brandy by himself he doesn't. I looks around meself, and what does I see? People just going 'round with blank stares, 'eird smiles and vacant faces, a 'eird glint in 'eir eyes. Oh cursed be thee, gods unmerciful, I sees pink. Right 'ere as high as it gets, all the way up above the city... 'is ain't good one wee bit. It presses on me as 'ough the sky was fallin' on me shoulders, and I remembers no more.

Although the officials denied everything, reliable sources have informed us that radio administration lost control of transmitters on the highest spot in the state, the Sears Tower. It is said that, for several hours, they were glowing a very radiant pink and transmitting neural waves of yet unknown potential. We have an extremely valuable photograph of this process, which proves it. Generally, the antennae are dormant.

Last night, however, during the process of whatever great evil, the antennae looked like this.
So far we had very little luck when trying to find out what exactly happened last night. Whatever it was, though, it doesn't take a mastermind to realise what's going on. Ordinary people on the street, when confronted with a sample pink item, expressed greatly positive emotions, ranging from cuddling to tears of happiness. It seems that the enemy is employing mind control to achieve complete control of the area.

Also, there is a group of people, including our eyewitness, who have retained memories and don't seem to be affected by whatever was going on. There is one common link between these cases; booze. This is the advice of Green Resistance to worldwide population. Drink often and in substantial quantities. It will give you an edge against the Sinister Pink and Fluffy.

*****************

Our top scientists waste no time, though, and counter this menace with an amazing discovery, which couldn't have come at a more appropriate time. Worldwide news report that they have managed to create a transparent frog. While that may not seem as such a big breakthrough, it's a very important step towards creating the perfect minion: an invisible frog. Surely you can imagine how deploying billions of invisible frogs everywhere would not only thwart the wicked Pink schemes, but even grant world domination to where it's due. Mwhahaa! ]:->

Sinister pink and fluffy

(This one dedicated to Mim, who commented: "I'm still waiting for the ponderings of pink and fluffy stuff.")

After a decimating defeat in the second age, the pink fluffy menace had no choice but to flee the realms of Arda. However, recent findings suggest that another abhorrent assault is being underway, beginning, as usual, under the clever, if worn disguise of sweetness and innocence.

Trustworthy sources have reported a grand scheme of vile and deviant mastermind, his abominable majesty Fluffy the Pink III, that is soon to reach its most gruesome second stage. If successful, it would inadvertently result in unchallenged domination over this dimension. Undercover agents of unimaginable terror are are being spread around our world as we speak, posing as... you've guessed it, something cute, pink, and fluffy. A laptop cover!

They obviously have a sense of irony, calling this product "deadly pink". Ingenious, that much is hard to deny. Not only is this the ideal position to observe user's activities and behavioral patterns, the pink and fluffy invaders also intend to hijack the machines to wage cyberwar on world's governments. Even as we speak, pink and fluffy laptops hack the Pentagon and other military mainframes, (and successfully place the blame on our communist friend, China,) while their users slumber peacefully, oblivious of the grave danger they are in.

Once the time has come for attack, their intention is to terminate unsuspecting users by first biting their hands off, and then jumping and ripping out their throat. After successful assimilation, laptop becomes a part of endoskeleton and nervous system of the atrocious, newly risen pink and fluffy ghoul. Shortly following this sinister strike, the pink and fluffy laptop lays its eggs into the user's recently deceased body, which soon becomes a source of nutrition for its monstrous offspring.

Multiplying at an exponential rate, it is estimated that pink and fluffy abominations will triumph with their ghastly, harrowing intentions, before they reach fourth generation. So be advised, everything pink and fluffy is a mere repugnant monstrosity, plotting you a morbid fate. Annihilate it mercilessly, and with great joy, because for every single pink and fluffy thing vanquished, the world becomes a better place, no matter how futile these little victories could be... For they will not be enough.

It is too late for us to prevail now, and it indeed seems that all is lost. However, in ancient books, one faint hope remains. An age-old being of tremendous power and endless potency, that could prove an astounding asset and tip the scales of victory, if persuaded to aid our cause. We must obtain the assistance of mighty Chrono-tapír!