Pink think tank

(Sequel to Sinister Pink and Fluffy.)

Although the situation is seemingly calm and peaceful, there is no telling when the pink hell breaks loose. The worldwide surveillance system has been silent over the weekend, but that is not the case right now. We have a tier 2 pink alert in Illinois. Undoubtedly, the reason for targeting this area is directly connected to one of the premier members of WTO, who, rumour has it, is currently undercover in Chicago.

"Last night," he reports, "I went on a little walk to the park. It was a lovely, warm evening, but something was troubling me. Something, I just couldn't point out, at least not at that time. I was outside taking a few photos 0f the skyline, but I didn't feel quite well, so I called it a short night and went to bed. It wasn't until morning that I realised something went very, very awry. The weird feeling in my gut kicked in when I opened this photo."

"Don't see anything wrong? Neither did I, at first. However, the building on the left struck me as most suspicious, and using state-of-the-art WTO technology, I was able to restore great detail of what was really there."
WTO knowledge base: The Smurfit-Stone building often displays various signs to propagate various subjects, mostly sport teams and healthy lifestyle. This building has been suspicious with relation to the Pink Menace. It is considered no coincidence, that the best way to get to this building is using the Pink train line.

It was surely very appealing to evil forces of pink and fluffy to abuse this estate for their vile schemes, this time via subliminal messaging. Note the vaginal shape of the area, neatly combined with a sign proposing the viewer to appreciate pink. Freud himself would be proud.

It got worse than that, however. The information available is sketchy at best, however if any of it is true, we have a situation here. The following is an account of the events by an eye-witness. No modifications have been made, so please try to understand that he might have been a little confused.

Ehm, be 'is thing on, me lad? Aye? Good. Soo... hic! Here I goes with me mateys out at nite, a pint'a Guinness in each fist we have. I winks at 'ose preety lasses in the street, ye would not believe 'ow many 'ere were, oh I swears. Anyhoo, as dark a feelin' as an ocean storm 'bout to strike, suddenly we feel horror like never before. "Tim, ye brainless sod," I says, "what in virgin Mary's name you reckon's goin' on?" He answers me not, fer he's writhein' on the ground. By the gates of Hell 'emselves, Tim neva' gets down, not even if he drinks two barrels'o brandy by himself he doesn't. I looks around meself, and what does I see? People just going 'round with blank stares, 'eird smiles and vacant faces, a 'eird glint in 'eir eyes. Oh cursed be thee, gods unmerciful, I sees pink. Right 'ere as high as it gets, all the way up above the city... 'is ain't good one wee bit. It presses on me as 'ough the sky was fallin' on me shoulders, and I remembers no more.

Although the officials denied everything, reliable sources have informed us that radio administration lost control of transmitters on the highest spot in the state, the Sears Tower. It is said that, for several hours, they were glowing a very radiant pink and transmitting neural waves of yet unknown potential. We have an extremely valuable photograph of this process, which proves it. Generally, the antennae are dormant.

Last night, however, during the process of whatever great evil, the antennae looked like this.
So far we had very little luck when trying to find out what exactly happened last night. Whatever it was, though, it doesn't take a mastermind to realise what's going on. Ordinary people on the street, when confronted with a sample pink item, expressed greatly positive emotions, ranging from cuddling to tears of happiness. It seems that the enemy is employing mind control to achieve complete control of the area.

Also, there is a group of people, including our eyewitness, who have retained memories and don't seem to be affected by whatever was going on. There is one common link between these cases; booze. This is the advice of Green Resistance to worldwide population. Drink often and in substantial quantities. It will give you an edge against the Sinister Pink and Fluffy.

*****************

Our top scientists waste no time, though, and counter this menace with an amazing discovery, which couldn't have come at a more appropriate time. Worldwide news report that they have managed to create a transparent frog. While that may not seem as such a big breakthrough, it's a very important step towards creating the perfect minion: an invisible frog. Surely you can imagine how deploying billions of invisible frogs everywhere would not only thwart the wicked Pink schemes, but even grant world domination to where it's due. Mwhahaa! ]:->

Sinister pink and fluffy

(This one dedicated to Mim, who commented: "I'm still waiting for the ponderings of pink and fluffy stuff.")

After a decimating defeat in the second age, the pink fluffy menace had no choice but to flee the realms of Arda. However, recent findings suggest that another abhorrent assault is being underway, beginning, as usual, under the clever, if worn disguise of sweetness and innocence.

Trustworthy sources have reported a grand scheme of vile and deviant mastermind, his abominable majesty Fluffy the Pink III, that is soon to reach its most gruesome second stage. If successful, it would inadvertently result in unchallenged domination over this dimension. Undercover agents of unimaginable terror are are being spread around our world as we speak, posing as... you've guessed it, something cute, pink, and fluffy. A laptop cover!

They obviously have a sense of irony, calling this product "deadly pink". Ingenious, that much is hard to deny. Not only is this the ideal position to observe user's activities and behavioral patterns, the pink and fluffy invaders also intend to hijack the machines to wage cyberwar on world's governments. Even as we speak, pink and fluffy laptops hack the Pentagon and other military mainframes, (and successfully place the blame on our communist friend, China,) while their users slumber peacefully, oblivious of the grave danger they are in.

Once the time has come for attack, their intention is to terminate unsuspecting users by first biting their hands off, and then jumping and ripping out their throat. After successful assimilation, laptop becomes a part of endoskeleton and nervous system of the atrocious, newly risen pink and fluffy ghoul. Shortly following this sinister strike, the pink and fluffy laptop lays its eggs into the user's recently deceased body, which soon becomes a source of nutrition for its monstrous offspring.

Multiplying at an exponential rate, it is estimated that pink and fluffy abominations will triumph with their ghastly, harrowing intentions, before they reach fourth generation. So be advised, everything pink and fluffy is a mere repugnant monstrosity, plotting you a morbid fate. Annihilate it mercilessly, and with great joy, because for every single pink and fluffy thing vanquished, the world becomes a better place, no matter how futile these little victories could be... For they will not be enough.

It is too late for us to prevail now, and it indeed seems that all is lost. However, in ancient books, one faint hope remains. An age-old being of tremendous power and endless potency, that could prove an astounding asset and tip the scales of victory, if persuaded to aid our cause. We must obtain the assistance of mighty Chrono-tapír!