Cityscape climbing

Very likely the most disappointing thing about photography in a big, flat city, is the lack of good views for landscape shots. Even though you can sometimes get to a high building, only very rarely are you able to open a window enough to get a good, clear shot of what you want. Even windows in high floors of dorms have metal grates on them, because people in the wrong places are "worried about our safety".

There was a person, though, who, following a suggestion by one of his friends, decided that too significant concerns for our safety can be twisted and abused for actions unintended by the building administration. After gearing up with warm clothes, a backpack with a bottle of Gatorade and equipment, and of course the trusty black camera with its short lens mounted, he got past the maintenance workers to the designated place.

Campus floor belonging to musicians was the perfect place with deserted corridors, and two ways to get to the roof. With all the astonishing grace of a well-fed hippo, he sneaked outside through a fire escape window. The rusty iron bars, weary with age, moaned under his majestic weight, but seemed sturdy enough to be trusted. The wind was strong, as expected, and air blown from the lakeside much fresher, than that of the street level.

He wasn't sure whether he was allowed to be there at all, and slightly worried that in the country of such freedom, presence of a man on the roof could be easily considered a terrorist attack, but pushed forward nonetheless. After passing several windows with office workers who couldn't care less, and a room with several girls who noticed him and squealed, he finally got to his vantage point.

Fear of heights was never one of his problems. Quite a few times he has been hiking in an alpine terrain where a gruesome fate hundreds of meters below was just a slip away. Though in reality this was much safer, being able to see right through the thin bars didn't really add to the overall feeling of comfort. Just for comparison, the street down there is around 16 regular floors below the white roof.

Maybe it was the open space all around, after living in a downtown area for a few months, the height with the wind, the possibility of violating quite a few regulations, mischievous and slightly dangerous nature of his little adventure, the interesting view, someone greedy and powerful inside his brain having bought stock in adrenaline production, or very probably the combination of these elements, he felt very excited and alive.

Chicago is called the Windy City for a good reason - the city is situated on a plain by the lake, so there is nothing except the buildings to brake the air currents. Perhaps also for this reason, his fingers were really uncomfortably freezing. Cold and wind are much more pronounced when one's unprotected fingers are holding a cold metal object for a long time. At the end of the shoot it got rather difficult to use the control buttons. Oh, and he found it rather curious to see two flags, so close to each other, indicate wind blowing from two opposite directions.

Suburbs to the south-west of the Loop are home of many people, and spread as far as the eye can see. From here they don't look too glossy, it is somewhat better when you actually get there. Imagine a typical outdoor city scene from an American movie, and you have a perfect idea. It is also said about Chicago, that there are only two seasons - winter and a construction season. Looking at those cranes, I keep wondering when, and if, the winter is going to come.

Hooray, I can finally present a clear picture of the two main landmarks, from almost the same angle as I see them, when I look out of my window. This view is undoubtedly the best Roosevelt housing can provide, and can easily hold its own against million dollar apartments you see in the movies, especially at night with all the pretty lights on. But back to the story. :-)

The clouds looked rather promising, so he decided to wait for the sunset. It wasn't very comfortable, but certainly worth it. Leaning over the railing to get a good angle and unobscured shot probably wasn't the safest thing to do, but with his attention to the camera, it was doable. He decided to stop experimenting with picture settings, and set the picture style to landscape. Whole time he was shooting on manual settings, though, because he wasn't satisfied with how camera handled the light metering automatically. He would look at the advanced settings later, but this was not the right time.

This one is my personal favourite. I can imagine that the strongly tilted horison may be too avantgarde for some people, so I've also uploaded an earlier shot with significantly different, high contrast image setting, and one more conventional, with a plane passing.

In the end, drained but happy, he climbed back down to the window, where the office workers were still busy beating their personal high-score in Solitaire, and with legendary stealth only comparable to a medieval knight in full plate armour, he stomped back into the corridor. Grateful to the camera for motivating him to spend an afternoon in such a satisfying way, and eager to browse the photos on a larger screen, he rushed to his room.

This is the last picture taken in the shoot, and probably my most favourite one. I just like the colours, lights, and especially the train. :-) It only keeps me wishing for more dynamic range, because it was impossible to make the highlights in the top right corner lower, without sacrificing light in the darker parts of the photo.

Pink think tank

(Sequel to Sinister Pink and Fluffy.)

Although the situation is seemingly calm and peaceful, there is no telling when the pink hell breaks loose. The worldwide surveillance system has been silent over the weekend, but that is not the case right now. We have a tier 2 pink alert in Illinois. Undoubtedly, the reason for targeting this area is directly connected to one of the premier members of WTO, who, rumour has it, is currently undercover in Chicago.

"Last night," he reports, "I went on a little walk to the park. It was a lovely, warm evening, but something was troubling me. Something, I just couldn't point out, at least not at that time. I was outside taking a few photos 0f the skyline, but I didn't feel quite well, so I called it a short night and went to bed. It wasn't until morning that I realised something went very, very awry. The weird feeling in my gut kicked in when I opened this photo."

"Don't see anything wrong? Neither did I, at first. However, the building on the left struck me as most suspicious, and using state-of-the-art WTO technology, I was able to restore great detail of what was really there."
WTO knowledge base: The Smurfit-Stone building often displays various signs to propagate various subjects, mostly sport teams and healthy lifestyle. This building has been suspicious with relation to the Pink Menace. It is considered no coincidence, that the best way to get to this building is using the Pink train line.

It was surely very appealing to evil forces of pink and fluffy to abuse this estate for their vile schemes, this time via subliminal messaging. Note the vaginal shape of the area, neatly combined with a sign proposing the viewer to appreciate pink. Freud himself would be proud.

It got worse than that, however. The information available is sketchy at best, however if any of it is true, we have a situation here. The following is an account of the events by an eye-witness. No modifications have been made, so please try to understand that he might have been a little confused.

Ehm, be 'is thing on, me lad? Aye? Good. Soo... hic! Here I goes with me mateys out at nite, a pint'a Guinness in each fist we have. I winks at 'ose preety lasses in the street, ye would not believe 'ow many 'ere were, oh I swears. Anyhoo, as dark a feelin' as an ocean storm 'bout to strike, suddenly we feel horror like never before. "Tim, ye brainless sod," I says, "what in virgin Mary's name you reckon's goin' on?" He answers me not, fer he's writhein' on the ground. By the gates of Hell 'emselves, Tim neva' gets down, not even if he drinks two barrels'o brandy by himself he doesn't. I looks around meself, and what does I see? People just going 'round with blank stares, 'eird smiles and vacant faces, a 'eird glint in 'eir eyes. Oh cursed be thee, gods unmerciful, I sees pink. Right 'ere as high as it gets, all the way up above the city... 'is ain't good one wee bit. It presses on me as 'ough the sky was fallin' on me shoulders, and I remembers no more.

Although the officials denied everything, reliable sources have informed us that radio administration lost control of transmitters on the highest spot in the state, the Sears Tower. It is said that, for several hours, they were glowing a very radiant pink and transmitting neural waves of yet unknown potential. We have an extremely valuable photograph of this process, which proves it. Generally, the antennae are dormant.

Last night, however, during the process of whatever great evil, the antennae looked like this.
So far we had very little luck when trying to find out what exactly happened last night. Whatever it was, though, it doesn't take a mastermind to realise what's going on. Ordinary people on the street, when confronted with a sample pink item, expressed greatly positive emotions, ranging from cuddling to tears of happiness. It seems that the enemy is employing mind control to achieve complete control of the area.

Also, there is a group of people, including our eyewitness, who have retained memories and don't seem to be affected by whatever was going on. There is one common link between these cases; booze. This is the advice of Green Resistance to worldwide population. Drink often and in substantial quantities. It will give you an edge against the Sinister Pink and Fluffy.

*****************

Our top scientists waste no time, though, and counter this menace with an amazing discovery, which couldn't have come at a more appropriate time. Worldwide news report that they have managed to create a transparent frog. While that may not seem as such a big breakthrough, it's a very important step towards creating the perfect minion: an invisible frog. Surely you can imagine how deploying billions of invisible frogs everywhere would not only thwart the wicked Pink schemes, but even grant world domination to where it's due. Mwhahaa! ]:->

Sinister pink and fluffy

(This one dedicated to Mim, who commented: "I'm still waiting for the ponderings of pink and fluffy stuff.")

After a decimating defeat in the second age, the pink fluffy menace had no choice but to flee the realms of Arda. However, recent findings suggest that another abhorrent assault is being underway, beginning, as usual, under the clever, if worn disguise of sweetness and innocence.

Trustworthy sources have reported a grand scheme of vile and deviant mastermind, his abominable majesty Fluffy the Pink III, that is soon to reach its most gruesome second stage. If successful, it would inadvertently result in unchallenged domination over this dimension. Undercover agents of unimaginable terror are are being spread around our world as we speak, posing as... you've guessed it, something cute, pink, and fluffy. A laptop cover!

They obviously have a sense of irony, calling this product "deadly pink". Ingenious, that much is hard to deny. Not only is this the ideal position to observe user's activities and behavioral patterns, the pink and fluffy invaders also intend to hijack the machines to wage cyberwar on world's governments. Even as we speak, pink and fluffy laptops hack the Pentagon and other military mainframes, (and successfully place the blame on our communist friend, China,) while their users slumber peacefully, oblivious of the grave danger they are in.

Once the time has come for attack, their intention is to terminate unsuspecting users by first biting their hands off, and then jumping and ripping out their throat. After successful assimilation, laptop becomes a part of endoskeleton and nervous system of the atrocious, newly risen pink and fluffy ghoul. Shortly following this sinister strike, the pink and fluffy laptop lays its eggs into the user's recently deceased body, which soon becomes a source of nutrition for its monstrous offspring.

Multiplying at an exponential rate, it is estimated that pink and fluffy abominations will triumph with their ghastly, harrowing intentions, before they reach fourth generation. So be advised, everything pink and fluffy is a mere repugnant monstrosity, plotting you a morbid fate. Annihilate it mercilessly, and with great joy, because for every single pink and fluffy thing vanquished, the world becomes a better place, no matter how futile these little victories could be... For they will not be enough.

It is too late for us to prevail now, and it indeed seems that all is lost. However, in ancient books, one faint hope remains. An age-old being of tremendous power and endless potency, that could prove an astounding asset and tip the scales of victory, if persuaded to aid our cause. We must obtain the assistance of mighty Chrono-tapír!

A tale of a journey to the new world

Once upon a time, an adventurous young man chose to undertake a perilous journey across the vast cold ocean, to the lands yet unknown. Eight months of bureaucracy and several trees worth of paperwork it took, ere he finally boarded the entrails of enormous flying proboscidea of metal, which some may refer to as the Jumbo Jet. It wasn't until then that he realised the full impact of his decision, yet he had no regrets.

Not only was the elephant moving through space, it also seemed to be travelling back in time, as the sun seemed to stand almost still in its journey over the horizon. Some twenty hours after embarking on the expedition, the vessel began moving erratically and landed. Our adventurer was flabbergasted to see signs of indigenous population. As he used to be a devoted fan of the SG-1 series, it didn't strike him odd at all, that they all spoke fluent English.

The aborigines weren't impressed, however, and ushered him immediately into what they called the "US Immigration" line. Spending over an hour queuing with several forms in his hand, the explorer had plenty of time to contemplate their correspondence to the Vogon race, known from the works of Douglas Adams. However, despite the strikingly similar system of administration, most natives did not exhibit other signs attributed to the Vogons.

(This photo is not from Chicago. However, it's the most accurate I could find. The lines at O'Hare Intl. were quite longer, too.)

After being bossed around by several lesser bureaucrats, the adventurer eventually came to face a threatening specimen heavily armed with stamps and plenty of suspiciously-looking devices. The specimen was obviously highly skilled, as he could use his armaments with blistering speed, stamping several forms a second. Anxious of his fate in case he didn't get all the forms right, our traveler stepped forward sheepishly. The specimen obviously haven't seen his kind before, as he immediately took a photo, and asked him to submit to biometric readings. After indulging in a brief conversation, our adventurer's confidence was much higher, for the specimen was obviously in greater fear of him than the other way around, and his questions indicated that he suffered from paranoia.

After getting through, our adventurer was mightily surprised that the first person to address him was speaking Polish. Raising his eyebrows in a condescending way, he made his way to what seemed to be a center of local population. For this purpose he used a vessel similar to train, yet moving sometimes under, and sometimes several meters above the ground. The most alien thing he experienced during the transport was a disembodied voice saying "Soliciting and gambling is prohibited on board of CTA vehicles." Curious, he thought, those people seem to come up with banning things I can't even think of doing.

Trying to blend in among the natives, he decided to check in at a student apartment. The specimen at the reception was much friendlier, although less skilled, than the one before, yet he took a picture of the adventurer as well, this time holding a name tag. Sleep-depraved and unable to decide whether he felt like a pop star or a prison inmate, our traveler crawled into his bed and eventually, when he sure it was already morning in his homeland, he doze off.