Geek's birthday

Every once in approximately 31 556 926 seconds the Earth completes its orbit around the only star around for almost 1.29 parsecs. Apparently, the fact that Earth is yet again located in the same relative angular position from the Sun as the day you were born, is a reason to celebrate. And there's more. As Sheldon has eloquently put it, some people even participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relevant to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.

Be that as it may, I'd like to share with you some of the greatest and most witty birthday wishes I ever got, and treasure them so much that it would be a pity for them not to be shared... I won't be explaining the mechanics behind these in detail, because this could spoil the fun for the geeks reading this, and the rest of you don't care, anyway, or probably have stopped reading by now. :-D

All of those were created two years ago, when Fox started this on our discussion forum, although his wish is so otherworldly, that I'll keep it for the end. ZZ used unix shell to write a clever pipe of two commands, which looks very cryptic at the first glance, but is in fact very simple.

echo pTaalqbirtARTlqtoqloyhqATaalqbirtARTlqto\
qloyhqATaalqbirtARTlqRXTrqfXvXrXzRhqATaalqbir\
tARTlqtoqloy.qsqIonqxXqzTIqzXoDXr\!|tr fTaplb\
iqMthRtoyhDAmXsInxzr RapHybi\ rthdtou,zhDeAmcsnr

It translates into Happy Birthday song lyrics, along with a suggestion that I shouldn't get too wasted partying that night. Nick immediately created a very smart contra in C programming language:


#include<stdio.h>
int main(void)
{
long long int L = 729987139091064141LL;
while (L) { putchar(L&0xFF); L >>= 8; }
return 0;
}

If compiled, this gem prints out nothing more than "Me too!". And finally, Fox, who started all this, used Brainfuck language for this jewel of code:

>+++++++++[<++++++++>-]<.>++++++[<++++>-]<+.>+++[<+++++>-]<..
>++[<++++>-]<+.[-]>++++++++[<++++>-]<.>+++++++[<+++++++++>-]<+++.
+++++++.>++[<++++>-]<+.++.>+++[<---->-]<.----.---.>++++++[<++++>-]<.
[-]>++++++++[<++++>- ]<+.[-]++++++++++.

Lovely. It even made me code a simple Brainfuck compiler, to sate the curiosity. One of my friends adorably described this piece of code as: a dead fish without a head, followed by a dead fish without head and a tail, followed by random chopped pieces of dead fish.

So that's it. :-D Thanks a lot guys, it was a load of fun... Have any more clever geek birthday wishes to share?

What if email was like ICQ?

After months of frustration this joke of an IM protocol has brought me, I believe it's time for a little rant. What if email was like ICQ?

• Every email address would look like 379364795@icq.com.
  
• Other companies and institutions would also provide similar services, but you would only be allowed to communicate with people within icq.com
  
• The only way you would be allowed to check your email would be a special application [1], which would
  
• contain annoying moving and flashing advertisements, which you are not allowed to block
• have limited settings and poorly designed user interface, with large space-consuming windows and useless buttons
• be insecure and open your system to exploits, much like Internet Explorer
  
• only work on Windows, leaving users of other systems screwed
  
• Alternatives would be prohibited, and constantly undermined, so that they wouldn't work at all, or be unreliable.
  

• Anything you send would become property of ICQ. [2]
• Messages would be filtered without your consent, or knowledge.
• Spam would still be there, but spam-filters wouldn't work.
• Encryption wouldn't work - everyone on the way would be able to see everything.
• Customer support wouldn't work. Ever tried getting it from ICQ?

I don't understand the mass obsession of people in Slovakia and Czech Republic about using this network. Everyone probably uses it, because everyone else uses it - and when does the circle end? In the meanwhile, AOL Inc., current owner of ICQ, merrily bullies the users who just don't care.

Well, as you can see from the picture above, I have had significant difficulties with this protocol recently. Also, it was the only license agreement that my Linux machine was violating. I have spent hours and hours trying to access this network from various unofficial programs, only to have constantly low reliability and recently service denied.

I miss chatting with people who only use ICQ. You were the reason why I tried to keep my ICQ alive for the past year, although I had significant difficulties and issues with it. Fortunately, in part thanks to the long holy war me and some of my friends wage on behalf of jabber, a lot of people I know are now reachable to me.

Maybe I will keep trying to connect to my ICQ once in a long while, but other than that, I am too frustrated. Anyone who wishes to talk to me, and don't take this as a cocky, or arrogant approach, but please use an open network. The easiest thing you can do is to take 30 seconds to install Google Talk, and have a user-friendly client using an open protocol. Or they can take fifteen minutes of tweaking a more advanced client, such as psi or miranda, and have a lot of features far above what the official ICQ client provides.

Please note that I am not asking you to stop using ICQ, or change your habits in any significant way. But it would be great if you could install a simple undemanding program with negligible hardware demands, that supports a network I can conveniently access. It doesn't even have to be jabber-compatible - if you use any other open network, let me know, and I will start using it for you. If you are not willing to do this, then I am sorry, but I will not use IM to communicate with you. And in some cases, it would be a great pity, too.

Oh, and if you want to reach me on Google Talk, or Jabber, add martin@hinca.net.

----------------------
[1] "You agree not to (1) create or use any software other than the Software provided by ICQ or by America Online, Inc., or any affiliate thereof, to enter your ICQ number and password or to access the ICQ Services, without the express written authorization of ICQ; [...]
(3) block, disable or otherwise affect any advertising, advertisement banner window, links to other sites and services, or other features that constitute an integral part of the Software and ICQ Services; [...] (5) incorporate, integrate or otherwise include the Software or any portion thereof (including the ICQ communications protocols) into any software, program or product that communicates, accesses, or otherwise connects with the ICQ Service or any other instant messaging, Internet, or online service."
http://www.icq.com/legal/end-user-license.html

[2] "You agree that by posting any material or information anywhere on the ICQ Services and Information you surrender your copyright and any other proprietary right in the posted material or information. You further agree that ICQ Inc. is entitled to use at its own discretion any of the posted material or information in any manner it deems fit, including, but not limited to, publishing the material or distributing it."
http://www.icq.com/legal/policy.html