Tag Archives: humor
Hamsters and terrorists everywhere, rejoice!
Municipality police of Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories, Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, has come forth with yet another breathtaking initiative to keep us all safe and free from the evil oppression.
This time, it’s a campaign educating the public on how to spot a terrorist, urging them to report people who would seek to destroy our liberties.
…find more of “Hamsters and terrorists everywhere, rejoice!” inside
There is hope for men after all :-)
Who wouldn’t want a perfect partner with looks that could be envied by Maxim cover gils, mental stability of a rock, and house-keeping skills that could put your grandma to shame? And the best thing… she never ever nags. Meet Aiko, the first step on the way.
She would read you newsfeeds every morning after she fixed you a breakfast, she could read a map and navigate, and her daddy, Mr. Le Trung, even believes that she can even be “tweaked” to turn into a sexual partner, and one that’s blatantly easy to turn on, for that matter. ;-) Le gleefully explains that “her software could be redesigned to simulate her having an orgasm.”
Seriously now, I do hope she’s open source. :-D Here’s a toast to bright future, and stable relationships. At least now I know I won’t be sad and lonely when I’m sixty-four. ;-)
(Don’t) take your kids’ games away
A US teenager murdered his mother and shot his father in the head, in revenge after they took away his copy of Halo 3 video game, a judge has ruled.
Unfortunately, it seems somebody can claim that the game was a contributing factor; the judge who presided over this case said he believes that the 17-year-old defendant “had no idea at the time he hatched this plot that if he killed his parents, they would be dead forever.” Of course, it’s all video games’ fault. 
Jolly. :-D I do hope parents have long respawn timers…
—-
However, on defense of video games, they are very educationary. A six year old kid stole a car, drove it around, and eventually crashed, claiming that he learned that stuff playing Grand Theft Auto.
Sweet. I can’t wait till I learn some cool swordsmanship and magic from Warhammer Online. :-D
Geek’s birthday
Every once in approximately 31 556 926 seconds the Earth completes its orbit around the only star around for almost 1.29 parsecs. Apparently, the fact that Earth is yet again located in the same relative angular position from the Sun as the day you were born, is a reason to celebrate. And there’s more. As Sheldon has eloquently put it, some people even participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relevant to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
Be that as it may, I’d like to share with you some of the greatest and most witty birthday wishes I ever got, and treasure them so much that it would be a pity for them not to be shared… I won’t be explaining the mechanics behind these in detail, because this could spoil the fun for the geeks reading this, and the rest of you don’t care, anyway, or probably have stopped reading by now. :-D
All of those were created two years ago, when Fox started this on our discussion forum, although his wish is so otherworldly, that I’ll keep it for the end. ZZ used unix shell to write a clever pipe of two commands, which looks very cryptic at the first glance, but is in fact very simple.
echo pTaalqbirtARTlqtoqloyhqATaalqbirtARTlqto\
qloyhqATaalqbirtARTlqRXTrqfXvXrXzRhqATaalqbir\
tARTlqtoqloy.qsqIonqxXqzTIqzXoDXr\!|tr fTaplb\
iqMthRtoyhDAmXsInxzr RapHybi\ rthdtou,zhDeAmcsnr
It translates into Happy Birthday song lyrics, along with a suggestion that I shouldn’t get too wasted partying that night. Nick immediately created a very smart contra in C programming language:
#include<stdio.h>
int main(void)
{
long long int L = 729987139091064141LL;
while (L) { putchar(L&0xFF); L >>= 8; }
return 0;
}
If compiled, this gem prints out nothing more than “Me too!”. And finally, Fox, who started all this, used Brainfuck language for this jewel of code:
>+++++++++[< ++++++++>-]< .>++++++[< ++++>-]< +.>+++[< +++++>-]< ..
>++[< ++++>-]< +.[-]>++++++++[< ++++>-]< .>+++++++[< +++++++++>-]< +++.
+++++++.>++[< ++++>-]< +.++.>+++[< ---->-]< .----.---.>++++++[< ++++>-]< .
[-]>++++++++[< ++++>- ]< +.[-]++++++++++.
Lovely. It even made me code a simple Brainfuck compiler, to sate the curiosity. One of my friends adorably described this piece of code as: a dead fish without a head, followed by a dead fish without head and a tail, followed by random chopped pieces of dead fish.
So that’s it. :-D Thanks a lot guys, it was a load of fun… Have any more clever geek birthday wishes to share?
Shut up already!
Slashdot reports: “An editor for the Telegraph, Roger Highfield, recently volunteered to allow a UK researcher to shut off the speech center of his brain with a high-powered magnetic pulse. Regular speech is controlled by a section of the brain called Broca’s area. Once the precise location is determined in the subject, a magnetic pulse can temporarily disrupt speech without impairing other cognitive functions. The link contains a video in which you can watch Highfield stutter and twitch while attempting to recite a nursery rhyme. A later test shows that he’s able to sing the rhyme without difficulty, since singing is controlled in a different part of the brain (as you may remember from Scott Adams’ speech disorder).”
Cool. I wonder who will be the first to commercialize this technology and advertise: Now it costs only $79.99 to save your marriage! ;-)
